CHARACTERS ¾ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ✓ Thordis ElvaO move forward Thordis and Tom go to great lengths to explore not just the events
Of That Horrible Night Inthat horrible night in and the summer of 2000 but the ways in which those events reverberated throughout both of their lives The difference between Thordis s experience of having something done to her and Tom s experience of continually doing something to himself is accentuated several times most poignantly I thought when Thordis expresses her frustration with his self pity I clench my jaw in discontent There s a fine line between feeling sorry for having made a mistake and feeling sorry for yourself of having made a mistake In my opinion Tom crossed this line a few times in a our correspondence which left me feeling pressured to take pity on him for being the horrible nworthy failure of a person he felt he was Not only have I always found it ridiculous and out of place for me to pity Tom but I also believe that if people settle into the idea that they re beyond salvation it hinders them from doing constructive things with their livesThordis is an amazing survivor who has done incredible work in this field her ability to face her own demons and be willing to help Tom face his is remarkable I think it also provides a great blue print for thinking about
to continue to restorative justice programs not when the survivors are The Messenger of Magnolia Street unwilling but as a way to move towards greaternderstanding and healing in societyShe also puts the rape in the context of rape culture and misogynistic value multiple times most clearly here But you raped me because I m a girl a girl you felt entitled to Something gave you the idea that your pleasure mattered than my consent even if I was too sick to consent to anything I don t know why Tom But I believe it has something to do with the fact that men have power and influence on all levels of society and that s how it s been for centuries Perhaps this archaic tradition has caused people to adapt to the notion that men are simply important that women Perhaps that s why you felt that you and your lust mattered than me that night From what I know you re what most people would call a normal guy which is why I believe this incident to be part of a much bigger picture where women have less value than men Overall it is a very important book that addresses a topic on which society needs to change Talking about pointing fingers at and Famous Paintings In Cross Stitch understanding the subtle ways in which we socialize boys and girls will help change the rape culture in which we live This is a very complicated emotionally charged book that will make you feel incrediblyncomfortable in a lot of different waysIt s a bizarre project I totally nderstand the idea of wanting to confront this person and meet and find a way to put it behind you But flying to South Africa a place very far from both of you to do it Spending a week doing it But then everyone approaches things in their own way Who are we to decide what fits someone s forgiveness someone else s redemption This book and the authors talks have gotten a lot One of the most remarkable books I ve ever read co authored by a rape victim and her rapist though both object to those labels and in particular to being defined by themI first heard about this book on the car radio on Woman s HourWays To Continue To
With Both Of Themboth of them together on it to tell their story I was so gripped that when I got home I stayed in the car to hear it to the endThey met in Iceland when Thordis Elva was 16 and Tom Stranger an Australian was 18 After becoming boyfriend and girlfriend he subjected her to a brut. Ger nervously embarks on an eually life changing journey wondering whether he is worthy of this meetingAfter exchanging hundreds of searingly honest emails over eight years Thordis and Tom decided it was time to speak face to face Coming from opposite sides of the globe they meet in the middle in Cape Town South Africa a country that is no stra. Somewhere between 3 and 4 stars It is hard to rate a book like this one Excellent book well written brave and truthful This book is a breakthrough with a lot of wit and beauty as well as raw pain This book had a lot of potential It s premise was ite Web Penetration Testing with Kali Linux - Third Edition: Explore the methods and tools of ethical hacking with Kali Linux uniue rape perpetrator and survivor engage in years of correspondence over the crime and then meet in person again to try and come to a point of forgivenessUnfortunately the writing style got in the way It veered into purple prose too many times and I hate to say it melodrama I hesitatesing that word because it seems to belittle the horrific experience the survivor went through That s not my intention I just felt that she could have expressed herself in a matter of fact way which would have been just as if not powerful And I hate to say this but Thordis comes across to me at least as deeply nlikeable The purpose of this book isn t to like either of them I know but as a reader I needed to feel connected with the main author and that just wasn t there Her anger and outrage is there and it s nderstandable But it seeps out in all sorts of ways My guess is her life experiences have hardened her again Newtons Cannon (The Age of Unreason, understandable but a few things irked me Tom s vegetarianism and her lack ofnderstanding or support for it was irritating Firstly doing the typical carnist thing of trying to catch him out or implying he is a hypocrite This is in reference to his shoes which she assumes are leather Then her goading of him to eat some of the pig skin on her plate That was disrespectful and inappropriateBut all this aside the best thing about this book is the effort Thordis went through to make Tom see what he did was wrong and why Male privilege and sense of entitlement
Are A Toxic Pairinga toxic pairing could have easily gone through his life not giving a second thought to what he had done as being wrong in any way But she was not going to remain silent on it any and that took a lot of strength and courage Date rape and being violated by someone you cared for is insidious Thordis and Tom s story is an important one I just wish it was
delivered better I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hourbetter I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hour Forgiveness and I am currently in training to be a volunteer on my local rape crisis center phone hotline The topic resonated obviously and I thought this might be a good book to pick Bonsái up I am also thinking alot about restorative justice and Thordis s approach to Tom isniue in that she is less vindictive than one would expect and open to discussion rather than punishmentThe book does a great job of explaining their complex relationship both at the time of the 1996 attack and during their reunion in 2000 I think it highlights a lot of the intricacies faced by survivor and attacker when they share mutual friends and acuaintances and are faced with each other into the future Learning that over 90% of survivors know their attackers the reality of having to face each other is very real and the honesty with which Thordis presents her own rationale and behavior in 2000 is illuminating It makes perfect sense that her reaction to him 4 years later could be one in which she attempts to lash out at him and take back some of the control I found myself wondering about whether we should consider her the sexual attacker in some of these later scenes as she A Want of Kindness used her attractiveness to hurt him Clearly the violence and pain she inflicted on him was less than he had inflicted on her but the scenes do not exactly glow with mutual consentUltimately though this is a book about finding forgiveness and ability A woman a man a rape and a hard journey from violence to reconciliationOne ordinary spring morning in Reykjavik Thordis Elva kisses her son and partner goodbye before boarding a plane to do an extraordinary thing fly seven thousand miles south to meetp with the man who raped her when she was just sixteenMeanwhile in Sydney Australia Tom Stran.
or ignoring her as she d expected he immediately replied acknowledging his crime An eight year email exchangeignoring her as she d expected he immediately replied acknowledging his crime An eight year email exchange which culminated in them agreeing to meet half way between Iceland and Australia in Cape Town for a week to try and resolve face to face the final issues which they had been A Little Kinder unable to do in writing The book is the story of that weekAs a concept for a book it s mind boggling but the delivery doesn t disappoint either I was completely gripped could hardly put it down and read it in a couple of days It s an emotional rollercoaster and several times I found myself wellingp while reading it but it s also astonishingly elouent particularly given that the main author is not a native English speakerWhat I find astonishing is that the book has proven controversial with some people objecting to a rapist being given publicity or a platform to speak in public How these people think that a better JAPAN 1/1M3. understanding of what causes men to rape isn t going toltimately lead to it being less prevalent is a mystery to me but I guess that some people are interested in simple answers than in real solutionsAn excellent book If you have any doubts watch the co authors TED talk on YouTube How do you go from hatred for someone else as well as for yourself to forgiveness and even some kind of friendship This is a well written moving story It teaches so much About rape its conseuences and its context about guilt and mostly it reminded me how strong humans are I felt for both those souls My ViewAn account of real life experience a memoir of sorts is hard to review where do you start How do you give a star rating And that difficulty is increased when the subject matter is so personal and yet also concerns women and men all over the world These things I pondered for a while before I sat down and wrote my review This is my personal opinionFirstly I have to mention how very courageous I think both parties are exposing their innermost thoughts and feelings to public scrutiny Rape is an act of violence that is often very difficult to discuss there are so many emotions surrounding
The Act And Itsact and its hurt anger fear confusion disgust misguided feelings of self blame that make this topic very controversial This was a hard book for me to read Lets be honest people don t like to talk about rape and the rape culture that we live in today I feel like Thordis and Tom did an amazing job at telling their story it was raw real honest and even spiritual It was actually healing for me I wish this book would be reuired reading in our Jr High schools we ne What is this about South of Forgiveness is well about forgiveness Thordis Elva was raped by her then boyfriend Tom Stranger when she was 16 This book chronicles their meeting in Cape Town South Africa and their attempt to find their peace and their forgivenessWhat else is this about Rape culture about date rape about the effects of it and the struggle to get past it Thordis is brutally honest in her accounts of what Tom did and how it changed
her And here s what I never thought I d be typing so is TomRape is an action that is aboutAnd here s what I never thought I d be typing so is TomRape is an action that is about about a man or woman taking what they want sexually without consent It s terrifying and Hechizos de amor unforgiveableBut what South of Forgiveness has taught me is that I we have no right to judge how survivors cop. Nger to violence and the healing power of forgiveness South of Forgiveness is annprecedented collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator each eually committed to exploring the darkest moment of their lives It is a true story about being bent but not broken of facing fear with courage and of finding hope even in the most wounded of plac. .