Scalia V. Epstein kIsIt s hilarious and wildly disturbing all at the same time Bazell is like the Chuck Palahniuk for sane peopleThis will just be easier if I uote Ron CharlesBeat the Reaper is a hypochondriac s nightmare but a reader s dream Josh Bazell concocted this comic thriller while working as a medical resident at the University of California San Francisco and if anything he describes here is true we should all become Christian ScientistsI want to tell you all about it the ridiculousness of certain parts other parts that made me seethe with anger and the vast cynicism throughout But you just have to read it The main character calls Lech Wa sa a pig faced bitchOne of the other things I like aesthetically anyway is that throughout the chapters there are little pictures of the Grim Reaper running with a scythe a tiny little thing used to indicate a break in the main character s train of thought Until he has this thought But rituals turn us all into fucking idiots Like those birds that sleep with their heads facing backwards because their ancestors slept with their heads under their wings Plutarch says that carrying new wives across thresholds is stupid because we don t remember that it refers to the rape of the Sabine women and that s fucking Plutarch two thousand years ago We still draw the Reaper with a scythe We should draw him driving a John Deere for Archer Daniels MidlandAnd after that the little Reapers throughout the book are featured driving a tractor GeniusDo yourself a favor and read this book Unless you hate things that are awesome An outrageous novel that got me laughing a lot in between painfully gruesome situations a plot worthy of comic books and occasional absurdly implausible sex scenes A young intern of Polish Jewish background Peter Brown tries to save patients from gross incompetence at the worst hospital in Manhattan while popping drugs toeep awake It turns out he is former mob hit man in Witness Protection and his cover is in danger of being blown Much of the tale corresponds to reflecting back on his unusual past that led to his current situation His parents were murdered when he was a id and he works his way toward avenging their death in his teenage years This attracts the attention of the mobster father of his school friend who leads him
take on work carrying out periodic hits for money on despicable on work carrying out periodic hits for money on despicable that truly deserve illing His brutal defense against a mugger on the way to work on the first pages reveals his special skills in violence and sardonic internal dialog that typically leans to medical annotation in excruciating detail Because of my background in the medical "Sciences I Liked The Collision Of Unrealistic Plot Violence With "I liked the collision of unrealistic plot violence with coverage of conseuences To help you decide if this novel is for you I share with you this piece from the opening scenario the fuckhead can see the blue scrub pants under my overcoat so he thinks I ve got drugs and money on me And maybe that I ve taken some Falling For A Boss kind of oath not toick his fuckhead ass for trying to mug meI barely have enough drugs and money to get me through the day And the only oath I took as I recall was to first do no harm I m thinking we re past that point I turn around which rolls the gun off my skull and leaves my raised right hand above the fuckhead s arm I wrap his elbow and jerk upward causing the ligaments to pop like champagne corksLet s take a moment to smell the rose nown as the elbowThe two bones of the forearm the ulna and the radius move independently of each other and also rotate You can see this by turning your hand from palm up in which position "the ulna and radius are parallel to palm down where they re crossed into an X They therefore reuire a " ulna and radius are parallel to palm down where they re crossed into an X They therefore reuire a anchoring system at the elbow with the ligaments wrapping the various bone ends in spoolable and unspoolable ribbons that look like the tape on the handle of a tennis racket It s a shame to tear these ligaments apartThus you can see that the book is not for the sueamish but as with me Bazell s imaginative over the top action and particular genius for humor in his delivery may appeal enough to get you past the tough parts Utterly ridiculous gratuitously violent highly improbable totally engrossing lightening paced Why don t people write like this. Clear to Peter that the clock is ticking for both of them He must do whatever it takes to eep him and his patient aliveIt's time to beat the reape. This is one of the most uniue and entertaining novels I ve read in a long time At the age of fourteen Pietro Brwna is orphaned for a second time when someone murders the grandparents who had raised him for much of his life In school Pietro befriends the son of a mob lawyer Davide Locano and the Locanos become his new surrogate family But Pietro is determined to hunt down and Regenerating Agriculture: Policies and Practice for Sustainability and Self Reliance kill the cretins who murdered his grandparents With Locano s assistance he identifies theillers and dispatches themIt s apparent that Pietro has a talent for this sort of thing and he ultimately becomes a mob hitman When complications ensue as they often do in the hitman business Pietro bails out and enters the witness protection program Several years later Dr Peter Brown is an intern at a New York hospital when a new patient recognizes him as Pietro and alerts the mob Now Dr Brown must deal with several medical emergencies while the mobsters converge on the hospital anxious to make Dr Brown himself a terminal caseThis is at once a hilarious and gut wrenching story Josh Bazell has a wicked sense of humor and as an MD himself he writes a tale in which the misadventures that occur in the hospital are perhaps even hair raising than the criminal activity that takes place outside of it Peter Brown is an inspired character unlike anyone you ve ever met in a novel before and he narrates a gripping story with a climax that has to be read to be believed Finishing the book though I came away with the feeling that I d rather take my chances against mob hitmen hunting for me as opposed to going into a hospital for even a minor proceedure When I started reading this I had the vague expectation that it was going to be some sort of urban fantasy It wasn t But that didn t ee Hey fuckheadYep you the one with the track marks running down both arms trying to slide off into oblivion with the tilted head and the faraway expression staring at the sun like it s some four headed monster ready to steal your dreams twitching for your next fix like some random dog left out in the rain too long with a stutter stepping walk and attitude veering off from the rest of the universe like a bad dream you might want to sit this one out otherwise you might have than just a fogged up brain on your hands You may want to study a medical chart and have your CT scanned and actually study ligaments and tendons and "Muscles And Bones And "and bones and even pass an anatomy class although that might be too much to ask because you re about to get your ass icked and you ll need to be able to piece yourself back together later with the doctor s help of course And frankly that s what you re going to need loads and loads of helpThe medical industry is encased in a
Shitstorm The Likes Of the likes of your coke snorting ass has never seen and it s about to get worse for you and your fellow fuckhead Americans And if you can stop being a worthless piece of horseshit for than one fucking minute you might actually have a prayer at making it in this world instead of ending up in some premature unmarked grave all by your lonesome staring at the bottom of a coffin at the age of twenty two with your eyes wide openThe good news is you ll die of lethal injection probably at the hands of some no name doctor when all you did was go and see the man about a head cold So at least you ll have that going for you Because if I really wanted to ill you I could shove a cork down your throat or jack you full of potassium until your eyes bleed or I could have one of the Latvian nurses on my floor who is really nothing than a worthless piece of shit who smokes weed than she does rounds and surfs the Internet like she has a gun held to her head ignore your ass for the rest of your miserable life peppering your chart with the standard healthy readings when really you re secretly dying of stomach cancerAnd don t forget that I ve worked for the mob hell they brought me into their family not the one where I had to prove that I m worthy by illing some innocent individual while he was sleeping or watching TV in the middle of the afternoon but the one where I was sitting around the dining room table on a Sunday afternoon shooting the shit I spent my formative years in dojos studying everything from tae won do to. The Doctor will see you nowMeet Peter Brown a young Manhattan ER Doctor who has a past he'd prefer to stay hidden When a figure from the old days ,
Kempo so I now over 100 ways to make your ears bleed so if you don t get yourself straight and step the fuck off I ll plant your ass at the bottom of a cesspool and I ll work the next 120 hours without even batting an eyelashYep I might "just be the craziest son of a bitch " be the craziest son of a bitch ever met I pop Moxfane tablets like they re caffeine pills I take powernaps in a coat closet and I ll smear a pint of blood all over
Myself For The Rightfor the right I have what you might call a rapid onset addiction to bloodshed and I illed four men while I was still taped to a chair along with countless other fuckers that I d rather not mention since I m in WITSEC so I really have no ualms about illing an innocent or in your case not so innocent individualAnd while you may not think you re a dumbfuck and that you re actually being clever by trying to jump my ass while I m wearing scrubs there are at least forty different Alien Zookeeper's Abduction kinds of stupidity and over the course of our less than five minute interlude you exhibited every single one of them and probably about a dozen others that haven t even been medically diagnosed yet So yep you re fucked and that s even without your latest fixOh and whatever you do don t go to Sicily Trust me you ll thank me laterSincerelyDr Pietro Brnwa Bearclaw internPS If younow what s good for you you ll get some Mexican hairless beaver before you diePPS Don t be such a fuckhead fuckheadDISCLAIMER I really liked this book and this voice so much in fact that I couldn t write this review any other wayCross posted at Robert s Reads B 72% More than Satisfactory Notes Falling apart at the end it climaxes its penultimate chapter in the most uncomfortable reading moment I ve ever had I m a Charlie Huston honk There I admitted it Like the first step out of twelve I recognize my problem And I feel unburdened Free almost I m a Huston holic A junkie for Charlie s magical mushroom prose And like every good Huston holic I m always searching for writers with a similar style Writers that ll grab me by the throat worrying me like a dogEnter Josh Bazell A combination of Huston and Chuck Palahniuk Bazell stuns with his debut novel Beat the Reaper a brutal and humorous medical crime gritfest It s Goodfellas meets House with footnotes Part hitman part healer But with a bedside manner tha A very interesting and disturbing novel that s excessive on violence especially toward some good and undeserving characters This would have rated higher with fewer innocents illed 7 of 10 stars Anybody who thinks the US doesn t need health care reform should read this book Since the author was a medical intern and the details about patient care seem horribly realistic I think I d rather read a Surgery For Dummies book and attempt my own future operations with a bottle of Jack Daniels a carpet nife duct tape and some rusty pliers rather than risk being admitted to a hospital after reading thisPeter Brown is a harried resident trying to get through another miserable day at a large hospital and Knocked Up by a Thug keep his med students fromilling too many patients But he s also a former mob hitman in witness protection trying to start a new life as a doctor When one of his old collegues shows up as a patient and recognizes him Brown spends the day juggling his medical duties while trying to African or American?: Black Identity and Political Activism in New York City, 1784-1861 keep his old pals from finding out where he isThis was a darkly funny and fast paced story with an original and outlandish premise The author s medical background makes for some gross and scary details about theind of medical things they never talk about on ER or House The story of Peter frantically trying to eep the mob patient from blabbing about his whereabouts while dealing with a stream of medical problems is intercut with flashbacks to the background of how Peter became a hitman and why he turned on the mob and entered witness protection I loved this book until the ending Everything was clicking right along but it s as if Bazell just decided that it was time to end the whole thing and he just threw on the brakes and wrapped everything up in just a few pages It was pretty jarring and I wish he would have spent some time on the resolution but this was still a great but gruesome crime novel with a medical twist This book is A MAY ZING Straight up Please read th. Merges it looks increasingly unlikely that his secret will stay intact Nicholas LoBrutto aka Eddy Suillante is given three months to live and it's. .